Government Warnings on alcohol.

As most Americans know, the US Federal Government mandates health warnings on alcoholic products to warn people about the potential negative effects. This is also an increasing occurence in other countries as well.
It has come to my attention that a few additional warnings may be appropriate.



Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that something that is actually two inches long is ten inches.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again untill your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings ike thish.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering, "What the hell happened to my car?"

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering, "What the hell happened to my clothes?"

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering, "Where the hell did I put my house?"

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering, "What the hell happened to my integrity?"

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy, named Chuck.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of unwanted pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.


 
 
 
 

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